The Fertile Darkness
The Naked Heart
Faces in the Mirror
Dismantling Negative Patterns
- The Secret of the Sexual Dance
- Healthy You - 10/28/2009
- Ajayan - 05/17/2010
Some Related Links
About The Authors
Faye and I (David) have been together now for about 30 years. It has been a powerful, heart-filled journey, full of all the ups and downs, joys and sorrows that come with life and deep love. We have four children, with two youngsters still at home.
In 1993 we moved with several other families from our home in Portland, to a beautiful farm in the foothills of the rain-drenched Oregon Coastal Range, where we reside to this day. We garden. Swim the rivers. Hike the rainforests. Tend the bees, and study the stars.
Soon after coming together we started one of the first national chai companies. we called our new product Sattwa Chai, and 15 years later this truly authentic, premium masala chai is sold in coffee shops and on-line throughout Canada and the United States.
With graduate work in both psychology and education, we began our healing work with individuals, couples, and families in 1982. Having been engaged by spiritual practice for many years, our focus has always been on bringing a deepened awareness into the realm of relationship. This includes the healing of past experiences; a refinement in communication skills; the bringing of more heart into our sexual dance; understanding the inevitable life/death/life cycle that each couple passes through over time; and offering everything in our life to the Beloved.
We feel grateful for all that Life has given us, and continue to be amazed at the Wonder of it all!
||About The Title
The Invisible Wedding is a poetic term pointing to an inner alchemical process that gets ignited as we begin to heal and open up spiritually. Marriage is held sacred, in part, because it points symbolically to a union - a wholeness - within.
From Eastern and Western healing traditions we know that each of us are composed of both masculine and feminine qualities. There is an inner male inside every woman. There is an inner female inside every male. This is the balance that Nature has built into us as humans. Aside from simple survival, the deeper purpose of human life is to become balanced, whole, integrated in both mind and heart. How do intimate relationships serve this process? As we relate intimately and profoundly with our partners we quite naturally begin to access our inner opposites. Males become more gentle, intuitive. Women are able to express their clarity, wisdom, and power with greater confidence. All this blooms as we learn to bring awareness into our relationship dance.
At the deepest level The Invisible Wedding points to a Love beyond even that of our relationship. Here our soul - our essence - merges with that of the Beloved.
The Need Of Time
As the world moves increasingly into realms of wild chaos and fear, the need to overcome our sense of separateness grows. The Invisible Wedding is just one attempt by two pioneers of intimacy to shine a light of clarity onto the playground of our intimate relationships.
A peaceful society, a peaceful world, begins right here, right now, with us. It is the need of our time that we each begin to heal the separateness inside us. Our relationship - no matter how it looks to the ego - is a mirror of our own hearts and minds.
When we carefully investigate the roots of conflict (individual or collective) we inevitably find an attachment to a thought, a concept. This identification with our thinking, our minds, causes our awareness to contract, and we soon become tense. This tension gets projected onto our partner. He or she now becomes the source of our discomfort, our disease, and the battle ensues. In truth, our tension was caused not by our partner, but in the ruthless defense of our minds.
The way to break our attachment to an unhealthy pattern of thought (for that is all conflict is) is to turn immediately within. We take the attention off the apparent source of discomfort - our dear partner - and connect internally with what we are feeling. At first we will make contact with our body's tension, a tight stomach perhaps. But as we stick with it, resisting the tendency to blame, we will begin to touch a deeper pain. This pain is not about our partner! This pain that we now access is the pain associated with a guarded, defended, heart. The miracle is that in feeling our pain, it dissolves, and the heart opens again like a rose.
Our identification with our minds - it turns out - was but a defense of our hearts, and the vulnerability that comes with intimacy. All conflict is rooted in the mind.
Melding East And West
The Invisible Wedding is a synthesis of Eastern and Western psychology. Western psychology elegantly points awareness to early childhood experiences and their powerful role in conditioning thought and behavior. With awareness of this content, it is believed, comes resolution and healing. There is truth in this, but it does not go far enough. Eastern psychology, on the other hand, points to the awakening of a much deeper dimension of life, to essence, soul, or Self, for healing, fulfillment, and inner peace. From the expanded point of view of the Self everything that happens (or happened) is lawful, purposeful, even if our minds are incapable of understanding it. We owe it to our (selves) to know the Self.
Meditate on this concept: All love flows from the Self. All love flows to the Self.